Greg

Greg would like to have a casual conversation with you about what he’s looking for in a new home. Nothing too serious…just do what the man says and no one gets hurt.

1. He will love you. But maybe not right away. You’ll have to earn that love.

2. He will not love your visitors. Why are they coming over, anyway?

3. He will love your cat. Preferably with a side of ranch. (Best to not have a cat, I guess).

4. He needs relaxation. He’s not looking to meet any step goals. He’d like his couches to come with stairs. He likes his home on one level. His back isn’t what it used to be and he’s like to keep it from getting injured.

5. He likes other dogs as long as they are lazy and won’t try to play with him. (See #4 for relaxation and back injury prevention).

Greg might not be your bestie instantly. He’ll probably never like your actual human bestie and will probably instantly eat your cat.

But when you have earned the love of Greg, you’re one lucky human. He’ll be the cuddliest, most affectionate sidekick you could ever ask for.

Greg will now accept your application. Better be good.